My friend had the same dream as me and I couldn't tolerate it
In my early twenties my best friend and I had the same dream, to be novelists. The problem was that I had this dream before he did and he was getting further ahead than I. I have dyslexia and he didn’t have the grammar and punctuation challenges I do, also he was a more disciplined worker than I. I got jealous, I didn’t mind him being successful under a few conditions, most importantly, I get successful before him since it was my dream first.
I didn’t discourage him to stop writing, but I didn’t encourage him either. When he spoke to me about his progress I met it with unenthusiasm. He even spoke to publishers who seemed very interested in his novel. Anyway, he finished his novel but for reasons only known to himself he decided not to publish. This made me both satisfied and happy. Now though I feel bad because I realise that it would have been extremely useful to have somebody higher up in the industry who could throw me a ladder and pull some strings to get me published. He was further ahead of me and I could have used him as an investment, a trojan horse.
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