Falling in love with a coworker and I hate every minute of it.
We have someone new in the office. She's somewhat inexperienced in the job compared to me but not by much. I was tasked by my superiors to help her in any way I can, showing her how to do the job that we do. She doesn't rely on me that much considering that we have far more experienced colleagues at work to help her out but she knows that if she's stuck on something that she can ask me for help.
Since she started working with us, I've been getting mixed signals from her. Whenever I am showing her how to do something, it's as if she doesn't respect my personal space. She gets fairly close to me considering we are two strangers, arguably too close considering that we are coworkers.
One time,I needed to show her something at my desk and she comes over to me, stands extremely close to my chair to the point my arm on the arm rest is touching a good amount of her leg/thigh with her not asking me to move even an inch. Another time, I lean on a table from a standing position to show her something on a computer and she leans extremely close to me, her arm almost fully touching the underside of my arm. Few times we were talking, I caught her shifting her look from my eyes to my lips, again, being quite close to me, even for a friendly coworker. Whenever I say something even remotely funny, usually a small joke where the biggest reaction I get from other colleagues is a smirk, she is the only one that lets out an audible laugh.
And this is where, to my probably deluded me, her signals become mixed.
Last couple of interactions we had she wasn't getting as close to me as usual. It's been a normal routine, me occasionally showing her how to do certain things on a comfortable distance between two coworkers.
One time we were even completely alone. Everybody left a bit early and it was just us. I told her that she can stop working and take a bit longer break than usual. I went outside to catch some air and she came a minute later to talk to me about a situation we had on the job.
All the while while we were talking she kept a fair amount of distance from me. There was no shifting looks or any attempts from her to try to show me her supposed interest in me. It was just a conversation about work between two coworkers. Once the conversation was over, she went to pack up to go home. Took her things quickly as if she was rushing somewhere and left.
I never threw any signals at her that I might be interested, apart from not reacting in any way, at least negatively, to her getting (un)comfortably close to me. I can't. A guy hitting on a female coworker? A however small mentor figure hitting on a mentee?
I really shouldn't be feeling like this towards someone I barely know.
I don't know if she's seeing anyone.
I don't even know if the signals I am receiving from her are even signals.
All I know is that I am falling in love with a coworker and I hate every minute of it.
Next time she leans over just put your hand down her shirt and cop a feel. She will probably like it!