A contract against me giving into masturbation
To this date September 8, 2009, I Matthew Dennis Stevenson has sworn an oath to overthrow and forbid the practice of sexual stimulation of masturbation for life. For thirteen years I have been following this practice as an excuse to satisfy my personal sexual demons, and after all this time I feel that I can no go on living a way of life and that I need to live a life that is pure and decent. Every time I give into self-gratification it makes me feel good in some way, but after I get through the release of stimulus I start to feel dirty and pathetic in and outside of myself. The pathetic thing about the after effects is that the pathetic part that I have never been with a woman or been out with a girl on a date all these years, and it makes feel pathetic that I turn to self-gratifying myself as an excuse for me not to go out on a date that I can’t even establish a compassionate relationship with a woman. I try repeatedly to give up masturbation, but when desperation comes to shove I always wound up having to take it up again whenever I feel depressed or aroused. To this point at being in my mid-twenties I can no longer tolerate this sort of behavior, and I have decided that in order to beat the exercise of masturbation I must put my surrender on paper and have it signed as a form of contract of agreement that in order for me to establish a sense of boundary that can never be crossed again. This contract hereby forbids me from never to give into self-gratification again, and instead I will here on turn to much constructive purpose in socializing with the female s** in order to gain an understanding about who and what they are as people instead of running to the computer and gazing at their body forms as excuse to trigger stimulation or view them as objects of sexual pleasure.