Frustration and Guilt
Hi, I'm married but me and the wife haven't had s** in a while. We've been married a while.. we have a 15 year old son. Over the years she's gained some weight and struggled with how she feels about her body. I'm ad avid runner and workout a few days a week. We've been through our ups and downs. I believe I still love her. At one point she shared with me that at an earlier age she thought she might be gay but says she isn't. Sometimes I wonder if she's being honest with herself, or if we're just not taking care of our relationship like we should?
I've resorted to masturbation sometimes. But don't feel good about it afterwards. We met through a church and at an earlier time were pretty active though not much today. Sometimes I will guilty if I do this and not know how to deal with it. I've gone to religious chat rooms to discuss it, taken cold showers but it eventually comes back. I did masturbation again today and again I regret it. The bigger issue obviously is dealing with the relationship but I feel there is no simple easy fix. I will have to talk to her at some point. I will try to refrain for now and work on our relationship.
I'm committed myself atleast until our son is an adult. I hope we can make it and find away through this, but I'm not certain.