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I can't stop thinking about someone at work
I'm 32 y/o, female, and in a fairly happy 3-year relationship with another woman. The problem is, I can't stop thinking about this older (57 y/o) woman who joined the company I work for in April this year. I don't even really like her as a person - she acts like a bit of a princess and she runs hot and cold, so I never know where I stand with her.
We went on a business trip overseas together a few months ago and had dinner (just the two of us) every night. It was fun and we both had a lot to drink, so after she talked a lot about her past ** life with men and how she hasn't been able to get aroused since hitting menopause, I ended up flat out asking her if she was also into women. She said she wasn't, and I said it was a shame since I thought it'd be fun to sleep with her. She was really, really nice about it and we both just agreed to keep each other's secrets (I'm not out at work). I don't remember everything from the conversation, but at once point she said something about it making her realize that it's not about whether the other person's a man or a woman - she's just lost all interest in ** since hitting menopause. I have no idea what she meant by that - whether she said it because it seemed like my feelings are hurt, or what. It still bugs me.
Since getting back from the trip, we've continued to work together fine and have gone out drinking with other colleagues several times. We've got plans to have dinner together in the next month or so.
I know nothing is ever going to happen between us - I can tell from speaking with her and seeing how she interacts with men that she's really into older, super masculine guys. And I'm really grateful to her for not being disgusted by me hitting on her (I know, I've got some self-hatred issues for being gay).
The problem is, I can't stop thinking about her. She's really, really pretty, and I just want to look at her (we work in different, nearby offices, so I only see her a few times a month in person or in online meetings). She wore this sweater in a meeting three weeks ago and I can't stop thinking about it - it's actually distracting me from my work (I should be working right now but I can't focus). I keep trying to focus on other stuff, but then I end up having a dream about her or my mind just wanders. I wish I knew what to do to stop this.
We all want what we can't have.
Sounds like she has no interest in your lifestyle or you. Move on.
Or just go straight up to her and tell her you want to go down on her!
We had a very attractive widower at my job. She looked very attractive had a very nice body at 54 she smelt good and had the softest sexiest voice. So many men even married in suits very wealthy tried to get her to go out even have drinks. Company hires a young black intern and next thing we hear he’s been banging her. He is gone to college now but I heard he was constantly getting to bang her. What a lucky son of a ** I mean she’s hot as **