My first suicide attempt was when I was around 6 years old. I used to try and drown myself hen I went swimming but it never worked, everyone assumed I just held my breath really well. Almost ten ears has past since and I still contemplate and plan it, I can't help it. I get so sad and feel so worthless, I always chicken out but fear the day I don't. The only thing besides fear that has stopped me is my mum doesn't need a dead daughter on her hands, I love her too much for that. She also doesn't need a depressed one either, so it remains unkown to anyone but me.