My dark past
Long ago when I was younger i did things that tore apart my very soul. This dark secret has been carefully hid away. Only those that were involved know. However my responsibility for this is my own. I have paid what I owe to society for my grievous sin. But I cannot escape the guilt and shame. What I did is so egregious I struggle now to come to terms with it. I was raised a baptist, and to those core beliefs I held true in my life. Though since this I cannot forgive myself I cannot help but to live a life of repentance hoping that the life I destroyed could be healed. I cannot set foot inside a church or the guilt and shame consume me. I did what I had done to me and became the thing I hated most. How could it have come to that. I grieve everyday for the pain I have caused. I recently learned this pain was repeated and my sin has continued down a progression I did not start but was a link in its chain.
I must find a way to ease my soul of this deed. I could not find solace in forgiveness. I could not find peace in God. I tried placing my sin at the foot of my Savior and still this feeling persists. I walk amongst the living as a dammed soul terrified of the fate that ails me. I had been a christian, strong in belief and devoted. I had been saved but I lost my religion. How can I return to peace what must I do to let God work again within me and remove this awful stain from my soul.