I have these 'fads' where I get utterly obsessed with something perverted and for three or four months it becomes the focus of my fantasy life, then stops abruptly. Then I go through three or four months where I'm normal, then something inspires me and it starts again. I've obsessed about costumes and crossdreesing as a guy and group s** and obsessing about one particular person and all sorts of things.
Three times in my life I've given in and actually tried out my fads in real life. The first time was a gang-bang in college and I did twenty-two guys in one night and I was sore for two weeks. The second time was a failed experiment with bondage that may have contributed to my divorce. The third time resulted in a three-month lesbian affair with my children's babysitter that ended on a friendly note.
Now I'm obsessing about incestuous pregnancy. It started two weeks ago when I heard my son's bed creaking and I figured that he was playing with himself. After that I got the image in my head of being pregnant with my son mounting me and it's haunted me since. I've entered "mother son pregnant" on search engines and discovered this type of Japanese cartoon called "straight shota" which now fills a folder on my computer.
My boy's out playing with his friends now, and I masturbated in his bed, humping his pillow. I'm sitting in the living room now in a camisole, but I don't know if I'll chicken out again. I'm waiting to see if my son gets home before I lose my nerve.