I am transgender. 17 year old female to male. I have felt this way my entire life, from my youngest memories as a child I knew that I was in born in the wrong body. I used to pray and wish for God to change me. I cried myself to sleep every night, and sometimes I still do. I am good looking and am told that all the time. I am only 5'1" male in a female's body. My voice is my vice. I feel like as soon as I open my mouth it will turn everyone away. I feel like a liar when I tell people I am a male, but I am? Aren't I? My mom tells me I'm not. No matter the drugs or the hormones. I am just a confused lesbian. It hurts me. I cut a lot, and do a lot of drugs to escape. Mostly weed and pills. I can't handle reality and I have slowly given up on my life. My mother is an alcoholic drug addict and my father is very sick. He just had a tumor removed too. My family doesn't support or care for me which is another reason why I have given up. I am online a lot lately, since me being homeless for four years due to my fathers illnesses and financial problems..I lost touch with all of my friends. I have no one now. Just me, the computer and my weed. I talk to people only when I need drugs or am needing a way out of my house because my mother is starting to hit me again. I don't know what to do and if anyone who is going through the same s*** message me at infearandjake AIM. Thanks.