Rekindling an affair with an old, now married friend
I am pretty sure that I am developing an affair with a married man. We have known each other for longer than he has known his wife. She and I are casual friends as well, through him; in fact, I consoled her during a difficult time between them a couple of years ago. This man ("Charles") and I had am extremely flirtatious relationship going back to when we first met about 10 years ago, but we never acted on it.
Recently, our relationship has taken a turn. She was away for a few days and we spoke on the phone often. One conversation was 3 hours long. I visited him last night, and the rekindled flirtation (that had happened on the phone and skype) became physical. We went to a bar, and our dynamic quickly became very much "public foreplay" (silly grabbing, arms around shoulders, etc). I brought up the fact that it didn't feel appropriate, but that I did desire it. It just felt so right - 10 years of buildup resulted in my completely falling into it.
On the walk home he put his arm around me. And then staying at his house, he was going to sleep on the floor and give me the bed. But somewhere in the course of the night he came in the bed and put his arm around me again, and complimented my scent. I held his hand and began to reciprocate the cuddling, but then he asked me to let go. We ended up having a long, intense conversation about how much we both wanted something to happen, but it simply couldn't. He apologized for going too far and leading me on to something he couldn't let himself do. In the morning I was so glad that we didn't sleep together, but spending the day with him I couldn't stop thinking about how much I desired him. We had lunch, watched a movie, and I even helped him clean up for his wife's return. Upon leaving, we hugged for a long time, and his eyes saying goodbye 4 or 5 times said enough.
I know from our conversations that he believes his marriage won't last another couple of years due to his wife wanting children, but him not. I cannot explain how much I am attracted to this man; I am in my mid 20s and I've never experienced feeling this mutual desire and shared history with someone that I am so socially and emotionally comfortable with. I don't want to complicate a marriage. But this cannot be denied.