My first true love

I met my first true love in college. We dated for two years, but didn't have s** throughout most of that time. She was very religious and was saving herself for marriage. But really she was afraid of her parents. Anytime we started to get the slightest bit hot and heavy, she'd say, "My parents would disown me if they knew what we were doing." We were just kissing. I never pressured her, but over time she let her guard down. I got my hands under her shirt and eventually under her bra, until we would be making out topless. A couple times I put her hand on my p****, on top of my jeans, and she pulled it away, shaking her head. Then one time she left it there and starting feeling the outline of my erection. I unzipped my pants, and she started to object, but couldn't. She started stroking it and said she imagined doing this since the day she met me. Afterwards, I slid her pants down and returned the favor. We went on like this for a few weeks, and she always said how guilty she felt about it. One night we took it a step further and had s**. When we were done and holding each other, she started crying, saying, "What have I parents..." The next day she said she couldn't be with me and that she had to pretend last night didn't happen. I was just too much temptation for her. I told her I loved her and nothing outside of the two of us matters, but she said "I can't". She was leaving for Thanksgiving break and just drove away crying.

When we got back from break, she showed up at my apartment. She took off my clothes and said she couldn't be away from me and had to have me. We then had the most intense s** I've ever had. We continued that way until that summer. I went to visit her at her parents' house for a couple weeks, and stayed in a separate room. We still found opportunities to have s**. One such opportunity was ill-timed because her parents came home and caught us. They were p*****. They called her a w**** and told me to get out of their house. I probably didn't help matters because I yelled back and told them they were bad people for how they have controlled their daughter her whole life. She told me to just go and that she would call me, which she didn't. I gave it a few days and showed up where she was working for the summer. She said she had f***** up. Her parents weren't going to pay for her school anymore as long as she was with me. I asked her to marry me. She said she couldn't because her parents hated me. I told her we could just leave and start our own life, but she said she couldn't. I walked away, and we didn't speak again for 7 years.

Out of the blue, she contacted me on facebook and said she made the biggest mistake of her life. She had moved on and gotten married. So had I. She was miserable and hated her husband, whom she married because her parents loved him. She wanted to meet up, and after some conversation, it was clear she wanted to have an affair. I was, and am, happily married. I love my wife and my life with her, but I've never felt quite the same with her. We did have a brief affair. It was just as intense as it was back then. We talked about running off together, but I came to find she had developed some serious psychological issues from her parents and now her husband. She hated them, but she couldn't disappoint them. I realized she would always belong to someone else and said we should stop. She said she wished she had married me when I asked. I said I wish she had, too. Meeting up with her was wrong, I know it. But I don't regret it. I have a renewed appreciation for my wife and have dedicated myself to strengthening our marriage. She has completely given herself to me, and unfortunately, this is what it took for me to realize it.

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