I'm a Christian, born and raised this way. I believe all the beliefs of my religion, but make exceptions that others look down on. I'm bisexual. I believe that people cannot pray for their sexuality to go away, that it truly is something they are born as. Love is love. Regardless of gender. I'm also having difficulties with marital issues. My (ex) husband cheated on me when I thought I was good to him. I am now having an affair with a married man. Do we live a life of good deeds and good will on Earth to be rewarded in Heaven with an eternity of looking down on those below in envy of what could have been of our own lives? Do nice guys really finish last? In being involved with a married man, do I gain understanding of why my own spouse cheated, or simply sink to his level? It keeps me up every night, and it tears me apart. I don't know what to believe anymore.