It's tough to tell what's normal and
It's tough to tell what's normal and this might not be the best sample of the population to ask, but is thinking of suicide normal? I think about it alot, usually every night and it isn't a crazy emotional outburst its just a realization that the low times aren't worth the very rare happy times. My life is about as good as it gets, i'm 20, my family's worth tens of millions, i'm in college, i get every girl i want, 154 iq, everything seems easy and because of that it seems pointless. I think people need a challenge because it keeps them focused on the present because everyones future has the same conclusion. My family has a history of schizophrenia and those effected by it don't know they are and i'm worried i'm the same. I would have killed myself had it not been for my younger brother and sister who look up to me. Do other people only live for the sake of those dependant on them? i don't want to drone on with a pointless existance. I take sleeping pills to sleep because if i don't i just lie there thinking of this all night. There have been many nights where i'm holding a knife and put it down convincing myself that i'll get help the next day, but i never do and eventually it will catch up to me.