Is he losing me?


I am married for 6 years and in a relationship with my husband for 11 years. I'm 27.

I must say we've a a rough time until this year. My husband and I are from different countries and it hasn't been easy to find a way to live together in the same place, find a job, have enough money to survive.

After 11 years, we finally seem to have an easier life.

The thing is, it's like i feel i was blind until now, concentrating on surviving with my couple, and now it's alright, i open my eyes on who he is.

I stereotyped my couple life. I wished to have a caring husband, caring about me, about himself, about his appearance. Someone who could share all his interests with me.

Today I feel like I have nothing from that. I feel like he's satisfied of his life with me and doesn't need anything else. People say I'm nice, fit, talk-active and with much interest.

We don't do anything else than working together.

I love to spend some time having a meal together, going fishing, doing fitness, traveling, going shopping, reading, going to spa, playing table games, dancing and doing couple dance lessons.

He can't stay more than 1 minute at the table, he has no interest in good cooking, and except traveling, he doesn't like anything I like.

He likes to stay on computer, write some scripts, smoke his cigarette, play some music and that's it.

We share nothing!!!!

The worst is he doesn't attract me anymore because he doesn't take care of himself physically, he wears like s***, he stinks after cigarette, he looks all the time in bad mood... he never does anything on his own, never help at home.

I don't know what is going to happen.

We talk about it but it goes nowhere. He says I 'm complaining all the time and he can't stand it. On the other side he won't do anything to make me happy.

On my side, I'm a good caring wife and doing all I can for him.

People talk, they don't understand his behavior. I'm also fed up to hear them because I feel they are right.

I know you cannot change someone.

He's not the father I want for my future kids. He's not caring enough.

I don't want to divorce or to think about leaving him. I sacrificed all my life, country, belongings, everything for him.

If I do this step, I'll be on ground zero.

Am I stereotyping to much and looking for something I'll never have???

Oct 16, 2010

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  • Can you tell us where are you and your husband from?

  • Yes the fact is you are stereotyping to much. I get it you sacrificed a lot, but you need to sit down with him and discuss some things. No one will have a perfect life, and opposites do attract. If he's out of shape do something together to get him active with you. If he stinks after smoke ask him to have a shower or something or dont smoke around you. Just talk to him, I'm sure he'll understand. If he loves you then he'll at least listen.

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