I think I'm a prostitute.
I think I'm basically a h***** for my company, selling my fine motor skills, empathetic face and b**** so that the big boys can get rich and toss me a dollar now and then. I am so tired of taking it up the @ss from customers who think they're the center of the universe. I gotta pretend I care about their problems and fix things that they've f^kt up. Want special treatment? Sure. Too lazy and dumb to do simple stuff? Don't worry, I'll do it for you. And I'll do it with a smile as I listen to you shriek into your phone. Please rub my hand with your greasy, hairy fingers. It's my fantasy. Want me to tongue-scrub your car's interior, paint your cat's toenails, carry your colostomy and shine your k***? I'd love to. Don't worry. I'm making like nothing per hour. I've only been with this company for 7 years and thanks to inflation I could quit and get re-hired and make almost as much. Doesn't bother me. Yeah, I should get manager pay for, you know, managing the people around me, but no big. My boss can afford to buy the top shelf booze while I'm mixing cheap grape soda and AquaNet to dull the pain. I'd be better off if I actually were a prostitute, even with the cost of condoms and weekly VD checks. And my @ss would probably be less sore.