Girlfriends's Past

I'm a guy who has been dating a girl for the last month, and I'm very much in love with her. I believe that she is very much in love with me too. Everything has been great, but recently she disclosed a few things to me that make me feel uneasy.

She told me that before she started dating me, her prior relationship was with a girl, meaning she is bisexual. She also mentioned that, when she was younger (and about 10 years ago), she used to regularly partake in threesomes with a couple of friends of hers (a male and female). She said she did this with them for about two years. She is still friends with them, but they now live in another state. She said it was not "swinging," but more of a three-way, casual relationship with trusted friends. She said she has "been there and done that" sexually, and is committed to me.

I think she was simply being honest and truthful with me, after we briefly chatted about our pasts. But I worry about her liking another girl more than me, and about her morals if she was engaging in threesomes regularly. Should I be worried, or am I just jealous that she has been more "experienced" than I could ever possibly imagine?

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  • From a girl's perspective, she was being honest. That's it/ She wants the relationship to move to the next level and felt she needed to tell you. It builds trust. If you're having doubts, just tell her. She'll reassure that you're the one for her and all that mushy stuff.
    Seriously, us girls only talk about our past to build trust and understanding.

  • Sorry to tell you, but it doesn't get better, mate. The same happened to me with a girl I'm dating. I didn't ask her to share but she did anyways. First time it happens to me. If I knew how I was going to feel afterward, I would've asked her to not tell me. I posted something similar in another forum and people will tell you a bunch of things. I figured most honest men who understand that your relationship actually means something to you will tell you that it feels like crap and it won't get better. So it's up to you. Men who don't understand that you're serious will tell you that you should enjoy her experience like all you care for is s**. Most women will judge you for being jealous of her past. I figured they say this 'cuz most likely they've been fooling around too. I don't understand why women act like s**** and then get offended when we feel this kind of stuff. They don't understand we feel this 'cuz we care for them more than the d!ckheads who just wanted them in bed.

  • Why would you be worried? She told about her past (which frankly, I think people in relationships are under no obligation to do albeit to assure their partner they are disease free), and she told you she's committed to you. What more could she do but go back in time and change things in order to make you feel more secure? I understand that you may be freaked out, but honestly nothing about the girl has changed. She's still the same person you were dating before she told you about her past, except now you know. If you loved her before, there's no reason to not love her now.

  • You should embrace it and have fun with her. She will show you things you never dreamed of. damn your lucky!

  • The truth is, she may have desires for women the rest of her life. Maybe she'll feel the need to fulfill those desires maybe she won't. She's being upfront with you and the ball is now in your court. You either are going to love this woman for who she is or move on. If you have any ideas about judging her "morals" based on her past behavior you should do both of you a favor and end the relationship.

  • Least she was honest, would you rather her not tell you then you find out when you guys are really serious? And its in her past nothing you can do it change it, either accept it or don't

  • I don't think its jealousy probably disappointment that her values are different then yours. Its hard to take her serious in terms of a relationship when she's been so loose and casual about s**. But like all relationships don't take it so serious from the get go. Just ride it out and see if it does become serious.

    I disagree with the earlier poster in saying there is no reason to look at her morals. Her morals are pretty much her opinion on life and will say alot about her.

  • There's no reason to look at her morals, she's saying she committed to you!

  • Go ahead and sleep with her if you want but don't expect a lasting relationship with her.

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