&& Here are the things I've never told
&& Here are the things I've never told the world.... the things i'm ashamed to admit....yeah,
1) All my emotions and how I feel that day relies on how this boy I really like treats me…like whether we have a good conversation that day or not. I hate it.
2) I’ve cheated on almost every school test ever…. Yet I’m really smart, I just won’t trust myself to make the grade.
3) I’ve made up a few stories in my past to explain why I feel things. This one that I feel most awful about is that I told a few guys that kept trying to pressure me into having s** that I had been rapped a few years back and it was just to hard for me right now to have any sexual relations… I was never raped…I just felt strange…everyone else was busy enjoying their s** lives with their boyfriends…and I was to afraid of what everyone would think of my body to do so…and I felt weird about it…so that’s how that story came to be…I feel awful about it now…
4) I haven’t kissed anyone in over a year…. Yet since I’m pretty and smart everyone thinks I’m doing all this stuff with guys…yet I’m not.
5) I have a friend that’s a lesbian. She was really unhappy then because she always ended up getting screwed over in relationships. I loved my friend to death (not in that way tho) so I told her that I had this friend that was a lesbian…and they started talking online. The truth is I never had any other lesbian friend…and whom she was talking to me for those long hard 2 months in her life…was me
6) I’ve stolen money from my parents to feed my clothes addiction.
7) I’ve made up boyfriends and told stories about them to this certain boy that I loved…just so he’d get jealous and want me back again. It worked every time….yet I felt even worse about myself afterwards…his life’s to messed up to have a girl right now. His sister and brother recently died in a car crash, and his parents on a verge of divorce… He doesn’t have any time at all for a girl, and isn’t emotionally stable at the moment… but he never lets me know that he still cares unless I pretend that I’m moving on.
8) I’ve scolded my one close friend about her drinking problem several times… but she kept insisting that she was alcoholic… after talking to her I ended up getting so frustrated and ready to cry that I went to my family’s own alcohol cabinet and poured myself a shot of vodka…I felt so hypercritical
9) I spent 9 months of my life in love with a gay man….and never admitted it once…
10) Sometimes I watch p***….And I’m ashamed of it