Thanks to swinging I think i'm in love with my friend's wife

It started off as my wife and I being good friends with another couple and over the years as we got more and more comfortable with each other it was just more natural to be open. It wasn't shocking to hear they tried a new sexual move the other night or to joke with each other in really personal ways. As we were really comfortable with each other, skinny dipping in our pool eventually happened. Finally about a 2 years ago, with enough wine in all of us, it just kind of happened where we swapped partners for a few minutes. Over time, it got to be longer and longer and a few times we've ended up in different rooms sleeping the night together. My wife and my friend have fun with it and see a roll in the sack and something different, as did i and my partner. However, over time, when we've messed around, I've felt a bit more of a connection and our time together is less about raw s** as it is about just laying together in bed. And there have been a few private conversations between us that make it clear that there might be more there. I know I think i'm starting to fall for her and I think she might be going there as well. Its been in this mode for about a year and while nothing has happened on the swinging front for about 6 months, there still is this connection I feel with her. I'm both very comfortable and nervous when i'm around her. We both cannot just pick up and leave because of our family situations, but she's dropped hints every now and then. sort of a "imagine if" kind of comments. I'm wondering how this will end up. I know if I back off the swinging my wife will wonder why as so will my friend. but if i continue with the swinging I'm afraid it could lead to an affair (which we define as having s** w/o the other two knowing). Here's the kicker. my wife and my friend have had s** one night when I couldn't get her to wake up and get off the couch after dinner and a lot of wine at our friends house. His wife was away on a business trip and i really needed sleep for a big meeting in the morning. My wife told me the next day and I was cool with it as I've told her in the past, so long as she tells me right away i would understand. but they decided to keep it from my friend's wife. I've wanted to tell her, but i know it would tear this friendship apart. So part of me says, what the heck, they did it, why can't we?

Life is messy and yeah, I know, its my own damm fault.


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  • I think you should have s** with the friends wife without telling. They owe you that.

  • Read about polyamory. You can love more than one at a time.

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