I was molested.
I was molested when i was in the 3rd grade it lasted until i went to middle school. now im in college and still a virgin and afraid of guys. i destroy every single relationship i get into as soon as i feel like its going to get sexual.
thinking about my childhood makes me extremly sad, it makes me hate my self, guys, and my parents why didn't they help me i ask my self all the time. they should have seen the change in me.
here is my story i was a bright, nice, hyper, pretty much normal little girl until my parents hired this guy to fix our windows. at first all he did was play with me pick me up throw me chase me. my parents grew to trust him i did too i had no reason not to.
well my parents left me home one day to let him in the house so he could finish the bed room windows. it was a hot day so i unlocked the door went to take a shower and when i was done i went to my room to get dressed i didn't even know he was in the house until he accidently walked in on me. he apologized and told me to pretend like he wasn't there and he continued on in the room i was in until i was dressed.
my parents were extremly strick and very unapraochable so i didn't even bother bringing it up to them in fear that i would get in trouble. i guess i wasn't so bright.
our house was pretty big my room was alone in the front of the house and the other room were all the way in the back. the next day he came and my parents were in the house but in the back portion of the house. i was in my bathroom taking a shower and i heard my door open and close i thoought it was my mom so i just kept on taking a shower until he drew back the curtains... hmmm i was scared but the only thing that was going through my mind was i dont want to get in trouble. so i din't holler i didnt scream i just looked at him. he didn't touch me he just stood over me looked at me then the window and then walked out.
i hurried out of my bathroom and put my clothes on. i looked around the house but he was gone. i was relived. he came to the house a couple more times but didn't even look at me i was really happy.
well my parents normally left me in the house to babysit my brother. that day they left me in the house i heard a knock on the door i thought it was my parents so i raced my brother to the door and opend it. in walkes the window guy. he claimed my parents called him to come fix a window so i was like what ever. he was there for like 3 hours my brother fell asleep in the living room and i went to my room to watch tv. i heard a light tap on my door and then the door just opened he walks in and closed the door i was like what do you want he the windows in here are already fixed. well i guess he wanted me... the next thing i know he pins me on the bed and here is this guy sucking on my barely there breast and v***** all i could do was cry i didn't know what to do.
i didnt know how to approach my parent and tell them i was afraid of them.. well this went on for weeks then he started pulling out his p**** and making me touch it jacking of infront of me e********** on me, he tried to stick things inside of me but i would cry and scream the most he got inside of me was his finger it was horrible. slowly i just stop talking stop fighting and obeyed him cuz he would tell me i would get in trouble and he would tellme if i kept crying and fighting he would put his p**** inside of me and hurt me. he came at the same time every day when my parents were not home if i stayed after school he would pick me up half way and start touching me in the car.... i hated my life i hated him! still today i fear he'll find me im a grown ass wonem and still afraid. i fear for my future kids i fear for all little kids i guess i live a life of.. fear.