Let a sick man continue or ruin a family

Me and my girlfriend tell each other everything. About a year ago, she told me a secret that only a few people actually know, but no one has done anything about. She said that when she was 13 her brother, who is 8 years older than her, inappropriately touched her while everyone else was sleeping. She's 16 now and I'm 18, and she has recently told me that it's been happening ever since she was 13. She said that she didn't know how to tell me and that she didn't want me to worry (understandable). It feels like all my hatred comes out everytime he tries to molest her because I feel like there's nothing I can do about it, knowing that this information could tear her family apart. So, should I let a sick man continue or ruin a family?

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  • Writer: agree with what comment babe?

  • I agree with this comment.
    This is his girlfriend, by the way.
    I'm crazy about this boy because of how much he cares.
    Baby, if you read this, you have such a big heart. I love you very much.
    But I think this is my problem..

  • Ultimately, it does come down to her being able to stand up for herself. You can encourage her, support her, and bring resources to her attention, but this is her fight. I do think its a good idea for you to talk to authorities on her behalf (but give her a heads up first), but you can't take this battle on with her family for her. And if she's not ready yet, you may alienate her and she will push you out of her life, and then she will have no one encouraging her to make things right.

  • This is the writer. I keep telling her that she needs to tell someone. I even sent him a facebook message saying that I would call the police if he tried to do it again (he did it again shortly after). She doesn't want to seek help because she's scared it'll lead back to her mother. I'm lost. I need to tell someone because, as much as I love her, she's very stubborn and says that she's "used to it" and that I shouldn't worry. But this isn't the kind of thing I'm willing to get used to. I think I'm going to talk to a police officer or a priest about the situation so I can get some face-to-face advice.

  • Oh, sweetheart, this is terrible, but this fight is above your head. Certainly, she needs help, but I am afraid she needs a trained professional, not her loving (but young) boyfriend. Encourage her to speak with a counselor and law enforcement, and be her support, but don't be rash and try to fight this battle directly with her family.

  • Definitely not! If he allows himself to do that to his own sister, imagine what he's able to do to other poor girls... I say tell some authorities, its not you or your girlfriend who would ruin the family by telling the truth, its that sick b******. A guy like that is sick and should be stoped, so grow a pair and do something about it, before he ruins some poor little girl's life...

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