So..i'm 15, live with my mum and grandma (whom i hate), go to a private all girl school and don't have many friends. right now it feels like my life is going nowhere, i'm not as confident as others and i'm not good at conversations, i do have one person i consider as a 'good friend' whom i can talk to about most things but we don't meet alot and we leave a pretty fair distance apart.
My mothers a single parent, i was a mistake she made as a result of a stupid decision made with the wrong person. my father..when i was younger my mother told me the truth about him...one day he stole her bank book..she found out he was involved with the wrong sort of people, she called the cops and eventually found out he was a murderer and that was the end of the illusion.
i hate my grandmother, yet i still have to live with her, i cant stand to be around her, she's loud, arrogant, obnoxious, talk about others behind their back, touches our stuff, and tries to control people (whats ironic is that she thinks she's a saint) our family isn't rich at all we cant just by a new house but we have decided to move (rent a unit) so then i wont have to be around her, but i don't know if that's going to happen.
my mother....she isnt smart at all, she dropped out of school, and i guess that was the result..i have to take care of most things if we do move...all this while i've felt like i've been taking care of myself. since the end of last year was seeing a guy whom she said was a friend i dont like him at all he has a bad past (with drugs and he has depression), and most of the time she wouldnt end up coming back from work not until the next day, i guessed it was him (i wasted so many text messages and phone calls on her explaining how i felt, whenever she came home she said she would change and it wont happen again but it always did and what was i to do about it? i think it was because of that guy, i thought she would be smarter to not make the same mistake twice, i kept preaching to her yet she still wouldn't budge..recently she said she was seeing this new guy scott, she kept saying good things about him and going on about how nice he is...well last thursday she said she was going out to see him she left early in the morning before me and grandmother got up...i was sick that week with a cold and migraines she was supposed to bring my medicine back but she never came, since then she hasn't come home she's been gone for 4 days todays the 5th and every time i try to call her the phone says shes unavailable. i dont know where she is and i cant reach her. if something happens to me my life is ruined...stuck here in this same place as the same worthless person with the one person in the world that i hate. no moving, no changing for the better, what am i to do? i have to tell grandma tonight to call the cops to inform them about my mother, i think she thought she was coming home and just going out again and not since she goes out every day. my life is starting to feel worthless. the day i moved would've been the day i changed, became a better person because my grandmother is whats holding me back. i cant be a better me around here. but right now i feel like i wont have a future at all, it feels like it's all slipping away and i cant do anything about it.