I like my.... uggghhh i can't say it.

Well, I kinda have a huge thing for my history teacher, we talk during lunch and i think he might like me too, i hate hate hate to say this but i truly think I'm falling I'm love with him. I know what your thinking, ohh your just saying that, or you don't know what love is.. but this is deep i have never felt this way before ( so cliche but true..) it started out in the beginning of the school year and he said he was worried about something i wrote on my test (i scribbled it out but he still read it) so he said if i ever needed to talk he was there well at the time i was majorly depressed so i decided to talk to some one and then i started falling for him it was innocent at the start but then it seemed like i would pick at things just to be able to talk to him. God, and even as I'm writing this I can't stop thinking about him, his smile, his incite, music he had me look up. Gosh, i almost want to be over him because of how bad it hurts. He's married and she too is a teacher at the school, she isn't this coming year tho. I can't stop thinking about him even tho I haven't seen him in two months in fact it's almost as if my feelings where getting stronger... and another thing i hate to admit is, well i keep having dreams about him, no not like that... but i mean no matter what the dream is he's in there somewhere and lately they have been mainly about him liking me or disliking me or talking to me or even about his wife! she's a b**** by the way. I could go on forever but the biggest thing is i have this overwhelming desire to have been born in the 80's because of him (and a few other things) and it's getting pretty bad i listen to music from the 80's or older and watch movies from the 80's i have been doing it subconsciously but now I'm doing it all the time... it's so messed up. i don't know how to get over him I got into a relationship not to long ago and it was intense too but the whole time i was talking to him or kissing him i was pretending it was him... My friends never let me talk about him because he's 13 years older than me and what not so i need some feedback. thankss.

Jul 20, 2011

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