Dear God, I wish I were straight!!!!
I think I'm falling in love with one of my good friends. Well, I don't know if it's exactly love, but it is definitely a HUGE crush. That's not really a problem. Well, it's a little awkward considering he's my friend and all. The problem is I'm a lesbian and he's a guy.
This sucks. I don't want to hurt my friend and crush him if it turns out to be a stupid crush. What happens if I go for it and I find out that I want to vomit all over him like I find out I do about every other guy I have ever attempted to try and date in the past. I've broken so many hearts before. I've tried over and over again. I known for years that I've only been attracted to girls. I l*** over them. I desire them. They never make me feel nauseous when I go to kiss them. They turn me on instead. Men make me feel sick and make my stomach turn.
But I love him. I love being with him. I love how he makes me feel. I smile when ever he calls and texts. My heart races at the thought of him. I can't stop thinking about him, his thin body, soft skin, pretty eyes, and then... hault!!!! That disgusting fuzz hanging from his face!!! The idea of that THING dangling between his skinny legs! PUKE!!!!!GAG!!!!!!! HELP ME!!! Why God dammit! WHY??? I hate you for making me this way!!!!