Alone with My effed up life
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I have never done a conffessional before, because I would like to practice my beleif in god, although my parents hate it. I have lied about dating someone, to get closer to my last boyfriend. I lie all the time for no reason, and I cry because at times I feel like I actually hate my parents. I was bulemic for awhile, and I still do 'it' sometimes, plus I starve myself for periods of time before I allow myself to eat. I feel I couldn't be accepted if I wasn't thin, and I am never happy with what I see in the mirror, and I write insults all over my stomach. I dated a 16 year old over the computer, who I had never met and sent him a picture of myself without a shirt on. I let people think I'm a s*** when I'm not, but if I really liked someone I'm afraid I might have *** with them. Plus I let them think I drink and smoke ****. Although I have gotten high once before, it feels wrong. I go into deep periods of depression at times, and I've considered killing myself. But I am too afraid of pain to do it. I have helped others jack*** over the computer multiple times before. I have used your name in vain. I only like guys who are into drugs and are bad towards me. Oh and I'm in love with my best guy friend, my ex, my friends ex, and really like two other guys, but I am afraid someone will find out and think I am a ho. I have sneaked makeup and facebook, when I ultamitly knew I'd get in trouble. I love to hit on all boys, just for fun, please help me stop this. I ask you for your full forgivness.