OK here's the deal. I'm a 40 something

OK here's the deal. I'm a 40 something male who has been visiting this site for a few years now, and I have to admit I do it mostly for the laughs. I do realize that there are a few people out there who have legitimate problems, problems that were caused by other people in their life. But that's life. Get a grip, for Christ's sake! It seems to me that most of you haven't had to do the hard thing. The hard thing is an experience that pushes you to the limits of your physical and mental ability. "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is not a cliche'. It's true. What I really want to do is call you a bunch of losers and whiners, but I was raised better than that. Well, okay, most of you are a bunch of losers and whiners. This must be a segment of society which I've had little exposure to. I've been around people who buckled down and got the job done when it had to be done. Parents who made me work my ass off as a kid, both at school and at home. Flown aircraft in combat. Friends that are achievers, associates that are professional in all they do. I imagine most of you didn't have that kind of exposure growing up or in your current situation. Kind of sad, I guess. Here's what you're missing out on - a complete life, loving wife and kids, all material needs met in spades (285K salary a year). No one gave me anything growing up. I busted my butt to get here. No amount of whining and blaming other people will get you anywhere in life. One must face the responsibility for one's actions, one gets the credit (and blame) for one's own actions. It's that simple.
I expect to catch a whole lot of crap for what I've said here, but you know what - I don't care. If someone reads this and decides to drag themselves out of whatever funk they're in and become a contributing member of society, then great. As for the rest of you, well, too bad.

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  • This is not a site of all degenerates and losers, it is a place for regular people (such as yourself) to release some of the baggage they are carrying. Some people need the relief of confessing in order to move forward, or feel better about them selves. Also, this is a place where people who feel like they have no one can reach out anonymously, and maybe even get the extra push they need to get help. Are we all supposed to bow down to you because you have done so well for yourself or because you make a lot of money? You should reaching out to others if you feel have accomplished everything in your life. How much of that $285,000 goes to charity? My guess-$0! Oh and by the way, if we are all a bunch of losers and whiners, why are you confessing on here???? Since you are so much better than everyone else, why don't you find something better to do with your time?

  • no coments frm shrin?????

  • most people just go on this site to vent.

  • Everyone has the same chances as anyone else. You want something, stop whining about it and go get it. I agree with the OP - To all of those who are talking about what a hard life you had...Guess what...You aren’t the first and will not be the last to live a hard life. Stop blaming others, get up, and do something about it. You have the ability to do ANYTHING you want. Yes, anything! YOU are the one who has to put fourth the effort to do it. We all have one life. No re-overs…No second chances. This is it folks. Who do you want to be? Figure it out and be it. Who do you want your life to reflect? Figure it out and let your life shine. We all have a purpose here. Don't wait on life…You do that and you'll be 50 years old…and then where will you be? Do you want to be happy? Happiness is a choice. No one can make you feel anything – You get up and decide that you want to be happy and you be happy. Shine like the bright star you are and let goodness overflow. Our attitude on life shapes who we are today. Circumstances in life change us, but it is up to you if the change will be a positive one.

  • All together now......."How great thou art, How great thou art"

  • "just buckle down, and do what needs to get done".... I needed to hear that. Thanks!

  • To the original poster and the one who agrees with him:

    I agree with you two whole heartedly. It's not the problems in our lives that make us who we are. It's the way we chose to deal with those problems. I have the same mind set as you do, thanks to my big brother who taught me me how to focus and strive for something better. Our lives were hard growing up but no one has a perfect childhood. Instead of letting life's hardships bring us down and confuse us we moved on, chalked it down as experience and used those hardships as stepping stones towards our goals. We've never lost sight of what we want and we never will. Our goal in life isn't to be millionaires all we want is to be the best we can be. That's what it's all about. Striving to be the best person you can be in all aspects of your life. Do the best you can in your career, be the best wife or husband you can be, be the best parent. Don't get me wrong I'm not on an ego trip. No one's perfect and that's the whole point, there's always room for improvement. Once you realize that you can always do a little better than you're doing right now...you'll start going somewhere in life.

    And just for the record... I'm a 21 year old female

  • I had a really hard life too, endured lots of abuse and poverty. But I'd like to think that working my ass off in school and making the right choices helped me become successful today. We all have the ability to make CHOICES for ourselves. We can make choices that do not get us pregnant, or involved in self-destructive situations, like f****** your sister's husband or whatever. A lot of the people here write like they are powerless to change their situation and like they are a victim of someone else's behavior. But they could choose to get out of the situation if they were brave enough, or be smart enough not to get in it in the first place. But then we wouldn't need a confession site! And that would be sad. This is better than TV!

  • "...And as for the distractions I'm not talking about flourishing relationships. I'm married and value my marriage greatly over my work. I'm talking about these dumb women and men who waste time on these no good partners and then want to blame them for their own failures.

    Anyway good luck to you and I hope you wake up

    And to the poster who said women should be in charge, thanks for the joke. It made my day."

    The first and second person you directed those comments to are the same person. Me.

    Also, "Poor, Stupid, Women. So emotional, so rash, so out of control. That's the reason women outnumber men 3 to 1 on this earth and still don't rull s***.

    Man Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    I stated that women have a more compassionate, diplomatic approach to the world and thus should be in charge. You have proven my point. Thank you. Also, you can't spell. You will likely never even "rule" a household. So shut up and keep reading.

    Original poster: You seem like a pretty stand-up guy. I hope I end up married to someone like you.

    But I stand by the statement I made before. While financial security is certainly a nice thing, (not having to struggle or live paycheck-to-paycheck, having some money saved up), I am not a materialistic person and will never measure my success or career decisions in this way. However, the statements made were very motivational and I do enjoy a challenge, so I will probably take them to heart.

  • Poor, Stupid, Women. So emotional, so rash, so out of control. That's the reason women outnumber men 3 to 1 on this earth and still don't rull s***.

    Man Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • you are such a manly man, what I wonder about is if your office door is big enough to allow your head to fit through or did it have to be modified to accomodate your massive ego. what a j******

  • Ok I'm the guy who wrote "The original poster is right"

    First of all I'm not judging anyone. I have no right to. And by no means was i any smarter or more gifted than anybody. I will admit that I've had some great people in my life (ie both of my parents) who have kept me straight and made sure I was sucessful but that's no excuse because there are people who have two loving parents and still don't make it. All I'm saying is comments like "I will never make 250k a year" is whining. If you say you'll never make that kind of money then you wont. Some of the richest people in the world don't have college degrees and they are not all athletes, rappers, or entertainers. All you need is a will to want to do something and the drive to make it happend. Your rent is certainly no excuse why you can't finish college. But college isn't for everybody. The ONLY difference between me, you, and the original poster is that we said we could be something in life and you said my circumstances won't allow me to be more that this. You put limitations on your self. I'm pretty sure you are a smart person and at the age of 21 there is no way your max earning potential is a mere 30k a year. My 60 year old mom went back to school and makes more money than that. All I'm saying stop thinking small and you wont be small

    And as for the distractions I'm not talking about flourishing relationships. I'm married and value my marriage greatly over my work. I'm talking about these dumb women and men who waste time on these no good partners and then want to blame them for their own failures.

    Anyway good luck to you and I hope you wake up

    And to the poster who said women should be in charge, thanks for the joke. It made my day.

  • Original Poster: Wow. I generated a lot more comments than I thought I would. For those of you that stated "this is a confession site" I just want to say that yes, this is a confession site, but many, many people post comments as advice. My "confession" was a comment posted as a confession. I knew I'd catch h***, so some of the above comments come as no suprise. I'm actually suprised at the number of people who agree with me - some partly and some more so. You know, no one would ever guess I make good money if they met me. The most expensive car I ever bought was under 30K. My house cost well under 300K. My wife handles all the money in the household. No pool. No affairs, no drama - my wife and I actually joke that maybe we should spread salacious rumors about ourselves in an effort "to keep up with the Jones'". People, it's possible - it's possible to have a good life with some work. Sometimes the work is hard. Sometimes your work isn't rewarded. Sometimes you get lucky. I got lucky getting the job I have now and I thank my lucky stars every time I think about it. I do have the necessary technical skills for my job, but I've been working on those for the last 20 years. My brothers are basically in the same position I'm in as well. I should add we had a single mom for quite a few years - she went back to school and became a teacher. No electricity, heat, etc. more than once. And to the girl above, who most of you seem to think is black - you seem to have, as we put it when I was in the military, "all of your s*** in one bag". Meaning you're well on your way to a great life. Success will come with your attitude. You go girl. I believe, one day, someone will notice your competence, drive, and smarts and put you in a position to suceed beyond what you see possible today. It WILL happen. It may not happen when you want it to, but I think it will happen. Treat everyone with respect. Do the job you're given and do it to the best of your ability. I truly believe in karma, that what goes around comes around, and I feel that is has a lot to do with the job I'm in now. There were several people that wanted this job, and I really think I got it because I was known as a competent, nice guy that "plays well with others". And here I am. I certainly didn't always make a great salary (many years in the military) but all the years spent doing the right thing and demonstrating a decent work ethic and generally positive attitude have paid off. Lastly, I may have come off a little abrasive in the original post, but I stand by the comment - buckle down, accept the lemons, drive on - that will solve a lot of problems in life. I promise. Have a geat day.

  • Last poster again, again directed at "The original poster is right. Everybody talks about not having the same chances in life as this guy..."

    I take it from your implication that you are black. Well, guess what: so am I. I think this little discussion goes to show how women are more compassionate and have a much more diplomatic way of approaching things. This is why we should be in charge of everything.

  • back to school fulltime****

  • To the guy who wrote "The original poster is right": I don't come on here to whine, in fact, I am probably one of the few people who has contributed a positive confession to this site, but nor do I come on here to judge. Good for you that you had the focus and intelligence to turn away from all that stuff and do something positive with your life and make a contribution to society, but not all of us, unfortunately, found it as easy to focus when we were 16 as you did. Now, I never smoked, or did drugs, or hung out with the wrong crowd, I still have never had more than 1 drink in a single evening, I don't cheat on my boyfriend, or on my taxes, but I didn't finish college and so I will never make 250K a year. I did not know, at the age of 17 when high school was nearly over, what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I find it hard to refer to this as a "mistake" and "my own (un)doing. I'm bright, motivated, amiable... and now 21. It's hard to make much more than $30,000 a year when you are a 21-year-old female who "doesn't have adequate experience." And don't tell me to finish school - I can't go back to school part time. I have $800.00 rent. Now, not saying this to warrant pity or sympathy or to whine, I'm simply pointing out the fact that not everyone is born innately talented or driven or knowing what career they want, and for some of us, by the time they figure it out, life has already happened.

    Consider these things before you pass judgement.
    (Also, while I'm not after anyone's spouse, I AM in love with my boyfriend, who I eventually intend to marry. Such... "distractions," as you put it, are what make life worth living and, I would argue, the whole reason for living, at the end of the day. If you're not doing something altruistic for the world, if you have a family whom you've loved, nurtured, and yes, provided for, as Mr. Wealthy can surely do, you've fulfilled your purpose in this world, as I'm sure even Mr. Wealthy on a superiority trip would agree.

  • lol

  • the original poster is a big fax\\t j****** who wouldnt have a chance to cheat on his wife even if he wanted to! The question is.... what is his wife doing behind his big fat back! I'm sure she's tired of f-ing the same fat, useless a-hole. But on the lighter side.. for your wife... since you make mega bucks supposedly, atleast she gets to go shopping w/ all of your money! Does she have a personal trainer?? A pool boy? I bet so!

  • The original poster is right. Everybody talks about not having the same chances in life as this guy and being happy with your lot in life, that's a load of crap. The poster is correct, life is hard and half the problems people have on this site is becuase they choose to loose focus on what's really good and important. For instance just before reading this post I read a post about a woman confessing to like her supervisor, who by the way is married, and how it's killing her not to sleep with him. Now instead of going to work and utilzing all her time to be productive, this stupid little tramp is thinking of some way to wreck another woman's life by sleeping with her husband. If she put half as much effort into her work maybe she'd be making the 250k per year. Not all rich people are lucky, or inherited their money. I'm not rich now but I'm going to be by the time I'm 30 because I'm not allowing myself time to get caught up in stupid mess like orgies with my wifes family or trying to sleep with my freaking boss. You people can't see the light for wearing blindfolds and refusing to take them off. Half the situations on this site can be solved by the participants involved decided to just move on and focus on something better. It doesn't take no shrink to figure that out. Stop crying about your life and get up and do something about it. Plus you reap what you sow. All this crazy mess you people are doing to get into these stupid situations will come back to haunt you whether you like it or not.

    And before you go calling me judgemental and perfect let me say I'm not perfect. I grew up a black boy in the hood all around drugs and gangs, killing, and prostitution. I could have easily followed the path of my friends who got involved in all that mess and ruined my life. I could have easily been on welfare, working a dead in job, smoking and getting high, going in and out of jail and yet in the midst of that environment I found myself a 25 year old man holding a upper level management position at one of the top 3 financial firms on wall st. And yes I've made some crazy mistakes in my life but I didn't let them rattle me to the point where I was so confused. And if something did confuse me i worked through it with Gods help.

    Anyway you people do need to toughen up.

  • Original Poster: I forgot to mention that in 19 years of marraige I have never cheated on my wife. Don't think I ever will.

  • Valid points all around. Some people have more trouble than others, and some posts concern me for the well-being of the poster. Others are funny. This is a very human site. Even the antagonism, less of which would benefit everyone.

  • you got some nerve... how long you've been coming to this site???? you're just as f***** up .. if your life is so perfect what are you doing on this site anyways .. don't you have better things to do then read what we have to say??? i guess u have to come on hear so hopefully you find someone on this site who's more screwed up then you ... F*****! HA HA HA



  • Baby, if you didn't have some sort of problem, you wouldn't come to this site. So get over yourself.

  • So... how is life up there on that high horse of yours? Unfortunately not everyone gets the same opportunities in life. And sadly.. not all of us can make mega bucks and do everything "right" the way you did. But.. kudos to you for having reached such perfection! I totally agree that one must take responsibility for ones actions and I would never blame others for my lot in life. I dont have a terrible life actually, I mean I may not make 285k like you... but fortunately, I dont need that much to live or meet my needs or the needs of my family. We all have problems, even you. You just aren't "man" enough to come with your issues.... so i'll guess! I bet you're one of those "perfect" men that is on the computer j********** to p*** every night while you're perfect wife sleeps.... or, are you f****** your secretary at your big d*** job? Come on mr self righteous..... what are your deep dark secrers in your perfect little world???
    from all of us losers and whiners!!!!!
    BTW... this is a confessions site... which means you'll be reading about peoples imperfections. Might I suggest you move back to your port sites for further entertainment and leave us losers alone!

  • Amen brother. I applaud you for your honesty and for your hard-earned success.

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