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I'm in love with my ex still....

I'm married with a 4 month old. But I'm still in love with my ex. I can't stop thinking about him recently. Songs, pictures, everything makes me think about him. Its so depressing.
I have a cutting problem. And I just want to cut and cut and cut till I forget. But I can't. I have a son to think about. I feel trapped and I dont know what to do.
I can't talk to anyone about it.
I feel stuck in my marriage, because I have a baby with him. Which makes me regret my son. Which makes me feel HORRIBLE because I love my son with every fiber of my being.
Why won't he leave my head!!!

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** with my SIL

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