I can't stand my step son

I have been married for 6 almost 7 years...there is a 12 year age difference between my husband and I. He is almost 41 and I am 29, when I met him I knew he ha a son and was fine with it. I was actually excited to meet him but honestly he is the devil!!! His bio mother didn't raise him and doesn't really have anything to do with him so I wanted to be his role model, his mom. From day one he has made that impossible! I have been hit, screamed at, lied about, you name it. All of that was just in elementary school! Now that we are facing high school he's just a demon! I wanted to love him ad be there for him but now all I feel is hatred because my husband chooses him over me. He knows no matter what I say or do his daddy will cater to him! I'm constantly told that that's HIS son and not to worry about what he does?! How is this even possible? Live with the H*** but don't ask any questions...I don't get it!! My step son is catered to like a baby, like he runs out house and nothing I say or do matters! No matter how much of a fit I throw or how much b******* and yelling I do I get nowhere. I love my husband but I'm not respected by either of them and the resentment I feel for my step son is horrible and it makes me feel like a bad person...I've become a cold hearted b**** and I don't like it.

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  • Your intentions are commendable. As much as you wanted to assume the position as his mother, you're not her. You're a constant in his life, and one day he will appreciate that. But all kids just want their real mom and dad. And you can say what you will about his mom, the fact remains that it's still his mom. There is most likely some abandonment issues and it's just manifesting. And then you have your husband who undermines your parenting. Which defeats everything you try to do. Think these are your two options, because what's happening now isn't working. You and your husband, and even this child get into therapy immediately. This child has behavioral issues that need to be addressed. Secondly, you and your husband need to formulate a plan where you are co-parenting and although any child is priority, so is your marriage. It sounds like you've made a lot of compromises for your husband and your husband really hasn't. If he refuses therapy, if he refuses to change, if he refuses to coparent. The coparenting- you still may have disagreements, but it shouldn't be his way or no way. It should be a conversation about what's best for everyone. But your husband is as much as part of the problem as he is the solution. You are the only present parent that child knows. But if you aren't getting support, and change doesn't happen - You know the answer. Divorce and move on.

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