Just want to be happy again...

So frustrated with the person who is supposed to love me most. We had the best relationship at one point. It really wasn't that long ago, maybe only a year. A tragic day changed everything an NOTHING has been the same since. Our home burned to the ground while we were both at work. After that day it seemed our relationship has just went downhill. We are now finally in a home of our own and when I thought everything would go back to "normal" it hasn't. We argue now more than we ever did. I'm always crying and he doesn't seem to care to try an work things out. I've tried so hard to do everything right. An he makes little to no effort. I'm extremely hurt. I blame this all on my weight. I'm a little heavier than I was before our house burnt, an I feel like he doesn't find me attractive like he used to. I'm not a strong enough person to just leave him. Days or nights I tell him to leave an he does I call him an cry to him to come back. I just feel like if I don't have him, I'm going to be alone. I feel like this is just a cycle and I feel like deep down in my heart I know things will never be as good as they once was. But, I can't seem to let go of that hope. I was so in love with him at one point an I still do love him, I just don't feel he loves me anymore.

Oct 22, 2011

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