No Hope

I am in love with someone who is married. He and I have known each other for many years. He loves me, but will not end his marriage. I think about my life and a life without him seems pointless. I know all that people say about women like me, but they need to blame the man too. I am lonely and he knows this. He wont leave because he has two teen children who would never accept us together. I know, hes probably lying.
I am beautiful, intelligent and talented. I have alot to offer someone but I am trapped by my love for him. I want to die...I just want to die now. I know it would kill my kids but the thought of this endless affair is so hopeless that I feel like this is my only way out. Im sick I think..and really need inpatient treatment for depression but thats impossible if someone is to pay the bills. What can I do? I often want to drive in front of a truck when I see them, or jump into the river. Why do I think I am so worthless? Why doesnt anyone else want to date me, or marry me so I could focus on them instead of this selfish man. I am so desperately in love that I just want it to end. Why do people hurt each other? Yes I am hurting his family but I am not the one committed to them. They have no idea about us nor would I ever want that. How can I escape him...sometimes I wake up sobbing because I dream of him. I pray to God to make me stop dreaming about him and to remove this love from my heart. I just feel so dirty and worthless...I am trapped in my own personal h***. Please tell me what to do.

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  • He can treat you badly only IF you LET him!

  • You are right...I have to. He has zero compassion for me. He has no idea I feel this badly or that I want to die. I try to smile and pretend. I would love to run a knife into him sometimes. He truly deserves it. But let her have the pig. Maybe I will tell his kid when I go to Target next time while the fat little b**** waits on me. He deserves a whole world of s*** coming down on his head for treating people like this.

  • Drop him! He does NOT love you if he did he would leave his wife. He is a liar and a cheater! Why would you want a "man" that is a horrible b******! And even if he did leave his wife, you would NEVER be able to trust him.If he cheats on her he will cheat on you!

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