I am worthless

I am an empty, pathetic worthless person. I don't have the guts to kill myself but I secretly pray to God to end my time on Earth. I hate myself. I am a worthless, pathetic person inferior to everyone. I don't deserve to live. I am garbage. The only things that bring me joy are food and liquor. I keep eating and eating hoping I get so big that I cant move and die from a heart attack. I drink and fall into a drunken stupor hoping to never wake up. I don't blame anyone but myself. I am an empty shell. There is nothing left inside of me after years and years of pain and loss. I hope and pray that it ends soon. I'm better off numb and not feeling anything but just when I think numbness is all that's left, the feelings of deep despair, jealousy and envy return. Why can't I just be normal like everyone else? I used to pray for someone to come along and find me, help me, heal me and save me. Now I know I am beyond saving. I am beyond redemption. I am sorry I am such a weak and insignificant person that ended up hurting others. I'm the one who should be hurt. I deserve it. Not those who I cared about. Now I am alone, empty and praying for it to all end.

Aug 10, 2017

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  • Seek help. The first step in our mistakes and all of it is to accept it. We're not all the same if we were imagine how things would be. Not everyone's life is really that perfect. Call help lines for someone to listen to you. Go for morning walks on the morning listen to motivational speeches on YouTube while you walk.

  • Seek medical help and support, asap. If you continue to waller in this state, without making any efforts, to improve your overall outcome, you'll deteriorate. You owe it to yourself to make yourself better.

  • I don't owe it to myself to make myself better. I deserve everything thats happenned to me and I deserve to feel this way and be miserable.

  • If your there. I hope you see this message. You are worth liveing and there are people who care. Please seek the help you deserve and give yourself the chance. Talk too a concelor or go along too a christian church and ask too speak with a pastor. I dont know you but i send my love and thoughts too you. Give yourself time and treat yourself with even a small bit off compassion. Your spescial and worth it...

  • Thank you, if only it were true.

  • You do. Stop with the self-suffering and self-putting attitude already, it's pathetic! Pick yourself up and f****** move on!

  • Good advice.

  • I'm so sorry to hear that you are so despondent. Please seek help, whether formal or informal, whether professional or some type of support group. I know you are likely resistant to that, but it would really help to get you out of the vicious cycle you're in, and would help to improve your outlook. Please don't stay where you are.

  • This post has all the earmarks of yet another female with self pity, no self esteem & a low opinion of herself. She's ripe for therapy with a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist. Yes, for tried & true talk therapy ; not for prescribed medications.

  • Don't assume the gender of the op, because you don't know. Regardless of gender, anyone can experience mental health illnesses such as; Depression and stress etc, at any stage of their lives. These illnesses are genderless, it can happen to anyone.

  • I'm not female

  • I just posted a minute ago. Message me if you rescive this and take care...

  • I am the OP and yes I did see it. You did write kind and wise words but some people are just beyond redemption.

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