i am twenty and have been having an
i am twenty and have been having an affair with an almost 59 year old for about two or three months now. he is married and we get together when he tells her that he is going to the gym. i am with someone 20 years older than me and have been for several years. the first time me and my affair had s**, we were in a field and forgot about the condom, luckily i was going to the dr already that day so was able to get the morning after pill without anyone knowing.we are in contact through text or phone calls every day except weekends (when our partners are about) and it is just so wonderful and loving when we are together. i know it is just about s**, or at least it started that way, but it is so nice. puts his hands on my face when he kisses me, holds me tight, wraps his arms around me and treats me like i am precious. he looks into my eyes and loves to make me feel good. when we are together we find a field and either stay outside or go into his car. when we are together we just get lost in the moment, and in those tender moments when we are both together, it feels like love. feels like he loves me. i know its only is endulging in the moment, and i am not in love with him, but when we are together everything just feels so wonderful. he treats me like i am something special where as my bf and everyone else in my life treats me like i'm nothing. he's going away for a while in a few weeks and is being more and more emotional with me all the time. he is so tender with his touch and the way he talks to me. and we do talk... its not just sexual. one time, we were together in the back of his car, we had just had s** and were still "together" if u know what i mean, all wrapped up with each other, skin to skin, and we stayed like that for a while, just talking. i feel guilty when i'm not around him, but i love how we both feel when we are together. his wife makes him feel worthless and unatractive and he was really greatful when this all started. who wouldnt be? a man of nearly 60 with a 20 year old. but he was so sweet and so greatful. i dont want to stop seeing him but in a way i might be relieved when he goes away. the pressure of having this and being in a relationship is awful. i cant leave my relationship and could never be with my affair long term, i just get so caught up in the feeling of it all that i cant see straight. i am not in love with him, but the way i feel when i am with him is so wonderful, no one else makes me feel that way. when he takes my face in his hands, kisses me so gently and then wraps his arms around me and holds me tight, the rest of the world just fades away. he is so lovely. he makes me feel.