I'm a fake..

I'm 19, and I have never been happy with myself since eleventh grade. I'm happy and caring on the outside, but inside? It's a paranoid, sad, worried, disappointed, and depressed me..but I'm confused on some of it. I've never opened up to anyone about this because I feel like they would make fun of me or tell me that I'm wrong on some of it, but if only they knew what goes on in my head.

I feel like my friends (even my best friends I've known literally my whole life) feel like they have to try to be my friend, which I don't want them to have to do at all..I'd rather they just tell me.

I'm a horrible boyfriend because I don't love her as much as I have one of my exes..I still love my ex.

I feel like I'm obnoxious to my friends a lot of the time.

My whole family is Catholic and very strong with their beliefs. I was raised going to church every Sunday with my family, but I realized what I truly believed in and stopped going. I feel as if I've let my mom down so bad.

The only place I feel safe is in my room with the door closed, isolated from everything else.

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  • It's time to open up and talk to someone. An anonymous person who can give you objective advice. Do what you feel is best.
    If you still love your ex, so be it. If your current girlfriend doesn't light your fire, then she's not the one. You will find someone better than your ex, it just takes time.
    If you don't want to go to church, then don't. Your mom will understand, when the time is right. Be yourself. Remember, everyone is fake once in some ways. Just be you and remember that, the position you're in right now, is not so bad after all. You the option and the right to make your own choices

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