I'm a fake..
I'm 19, and I have never been happy with myself since eleventh grade. I'm happy and caring on the outside, but inside? It's a paranoid, sad, worried, disappointed, and depressed me..but I'm confused on some of it. I've never opened up to anyone about this because I feel like they would make fun of me or tell me that I'm wrong on some of it, but if only they knew what goes on in my head.
I feel like my friends (even my best friends I've known literally my whole life) feel like they have to try to be my friend, which I don't want them to have to do at all..I'd rather they just tell me.
I'm a horrible boyfriend because I don't love her as much as I have one of my exes..I still love my ex.
I feel like I'm obnoxious to my friends a lot of the time.
My whole family is Catholic and very strong with their beliefs. I was raised going to church every Sunday with my family, but I realized what I truly believed in and stopped going. I feel as if I've let my mom down so bad.
The only place I feel safe is in my room with the door closed, isolated from everything else.