Borderline.

Last week I was finally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Which means a variety of things. The main part is that I feel emotions much more intensely than most people, often causing me to get upset over virtually nothing, or cry and get emotional when there's no reason to. Another part of it is feeling worthless, or having suicidal thoughts, or the general feeling that you're not good enough or don't deserve good things in life.

My boyfriend of 2+ years came with me to the counselor on campus. (I'm 20, junior in college) He's been unbelievably supportive of me, and is willing to be patient while I work through my own s***, just because he wants to be with me. He said he doesn't care that I have issues, he loves ME, for who I am, including my flaws. For the first time in our relationship, I finally realize just how much he really cares about me. I finally feel loved. I just wish I felt like I deserved how wonderful he's been to me lately. All I can do is keep going to counseling, to help myself, and our relationship.

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  • Hope turns me from a type no one wants (and I don't want me either) into a person with flaws who is dogged. Allowing life to whittle away at the rough exterior that formed like a shell to external and internal events/circumstances gives me hope as I transform into a real, and a strong person. I understand more and more as I find love in the most inconspicuous of places.

  • As a fellow Borderline, I can only tell you how lucky you are to have such a loving and supportive boyfriend.
    Most of us aren't that lucky.

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