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I'm incapable of having a relationship
I waited too long to lose my virginity out of intense shyness, till I was 25. Now i sleep with almost every girl that passes my way to overcompensate and am incapable of having a relationship for fear of opening up honestly to a woman. I don't even honestly remember if I lost my virginity to a friend or a prostitute since i've retold the story in my head so many times. I just use ** to fill a void... and it doesn't work very well.
I'm sorry.
I'm at the phase of intense shyness still. It's been long. And in my head it's always easy but in real life it's always hard and I don't know if I'll ever be able to share myself with anyone.
But I'm sure that someone out there wants to be in a real relationship with you.