I lost my mom, fiancee, and job within months

I have never felt so alone in my life. I honestly believe i may be suffering from depression but i have no health insurance to get that checked. Anyway II never thought i would be without my mom at 25 years old. She was my bestfriend. She was there to comfort me when my dad died and grandma died but now whose gonna comfort me to get through her death. I honestly dream about her almost every night. So much that sometimes it feels like i just talked to get recently. Because of this i prefer to sleep and spend 12+ hours sleep every night.
I was a virgin until i was 24 years old hoping to save myself for marriage with the perfect guy. I thought i meet him and he always talked about marriage so i gave him my virginity thinking that we would be married soon. Now fast forward a year later my mom got sick with cancer and while i was dealing with that my fiancé changed his religion and became a Muslim. I couldn't deal with it. I didn't want to go against everything i was raised believing in so i broke up with him 2weeks after my mom died. After that i moved to another city quitting a job i held for over 5 years for another job that didn't come thru. Now i feel like a complete failure. I have no friends because while i was in a relationship my boyfriend was my friend and my coworkers were my associates. Now i feel so alone. I don't feel suicidal but sometimes i don't really care about this life like i don't care if i am alive or not.... I have never told anyone this because i have noone to tell it to. I've been sad for 9 months and i wish things were different. I miss my mom so much. I miss my old life.

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  • I really want to take your post seriously and offer you some heartfelt advice. I was about to until I read your other confessions and it made me question your sincerity and honesty.

  • I'm sorry to hear you have lost both your parents so young. I lost my dad at 21 and my mum has been the most amazing person ever and I always worry something is going to happen to her. I wish I could give you a big hug

    You're definitely in a rut honey, and I know it seems SO unreal and far away, but things will slowly get better again if you let it. Even if you ring a helpline and talk to someone on that you may feel better

    Your Mum would want you to be happy. Take your time to grieve, but don't lose your fight. Much love sweetheart xo

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