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Life is an utter disappointment
That I often think about whether it's worth continuing with this lunacy that is my life. I am utterly disappointed in my daughter and my wife. It was my birthday, and they couldn't keep it together long enough to make it even to the cake and song, and I am now at birthday+1 and my gifts are still wrapped in the dining room and we've been picking at the cake. I wish them dead, and I wish myself dead, but am too dead already inside to do anything about it. I hate my life. I sacrificed my health to save people in 9/11 and spend my days trying to make sure kids have the healthcare they need...why must my life be so awful? Why am I being punished? I just wish this would all go away.
Are you thinking of killing yourself? Tell me why you're really depressed - I'm sure there is more to it than just this.
Suicide is not the answer and hating your family will not make you feel any better. You need to talk to someone.