Where to start. I don't even know if anyone will look at this.
I'm confessing to you that some times ago my family and i bought visa's to move to Australia and it was absolutely amazing, then my sister got a boyfriend so she wouldn't go anymore and us being family, wouldn't leave her behind. Me and my mum more than anything wanted to go and for years and years we said we'd just leave everything behind no matter what and go there, my dad said he'd come the year after when my sister had turned 16... Unfortunately like most plans, we never went. Two years later i have a boyfriend and i love him to pieces when i'm only 15 or not! It's not stupid teenage love and the worst part is that my parents aren't that keen on him and think i can do way better, but i don't care. We'd forgotten about Australia and i was happy with life. Like him or not my parents let me go out and see him, we've been together four months now and it's been the best time of my life! I just love him to pieces! Although now.. Yet again, we're in debt. I only have £100 and i'm the richest out of my family. It's bad and because our visa's run out next year, it's my mums dream to go! I don't know what to say because life would be so much better over there! They could pay for my sister to go to university, my mum could have her dream and my dad would be able to spend time with us, but i'd have to leave my boyfriend and i hate to say it but i'd rather be with him. I can't just leave my family though! I love them! But i love him more, that's all there is to it. .. It's my mum and dad's final chance to go because of their age, they can't order other visa's like i can. It's my mums dream and used to be mine to, but now mine is to be with Jamie all my life, it's my dream to just grow old with him and be mine for 'as long as we both shall live'. Help me ?! Please?! I'm not a pathetic secret.. My boyfriend knows nothing and if i tell him, it'll hurt him more! I know his past, unfortunately you don't, but lets just say.. Eating disorders, cutting, family problems, bipolar.. I can't leave him when i'm supposed to be there for him, my mum brought me up to never break a promise and to always keep my word, never go back on something you've said or said you'll do. This is me pledging to keep that promise but it means either breaking the heart that means the most to me or breaking 2/3 hearts of my family depending on if my sister stays with her boyfriend or goes because she's still with him and i plan to still be with mine. It's just no-one in my family understands, nor does anyone else, just how much i love him. My bestfriend doesn't even understand, she can't keep a relationship for over two weeks and she stole my three ex-boyfriends. I just can't tell her anything without it becoming a benefit for her. Truth is, i don't think she want to be my bestfriend really. And i just don't know what to do. Please read.. please help, i need help.