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When I was 13
When i was 13 my step dad sexual touched me. I even feel weird for telling someone this. But I need too. I never even told my Mother. Because I know in a Million years she would never ever believe me. I am now 23 and have kids and am married and till this dad still think about what he did to me. And How I still can't till this day still tell my mother. It makes me sick and what he did messed me up... Its been a few years but I needed to let it out... only person who knows is my husband.
I never was touched by my step dadbut when I was living in his home with him and my mom in my early 20's, we were playing around and the next thing I knew he kept poking my left breast till he had me cornered in the bathroom. When my mom was gone to the store with my two disabled brothers and my daughter was in head start ( preschool for low income families) he told me he was going to go to a guy named Sams house and pour concrete and then as I walked towards my bedroom, he says,I'd like to rub your ** for awhile. I looked at him while he was sitting on his bed and I asked, what did you say? He said,I am going to pour concrete at Sams. I said,yeah! That's what I thought. My mom left him and filed for a divorce.
Tell your mom she will understand now that your older and won't think you are lying just tell the truth and ever bit of it .
:)
I carry a similar secret for my DW. In her case, it was an uncle. Her parents don't know. When I am near this creep, I so want to put my fist through his face. Fortunately, we see him only briefly every couple of years.
Is your stepdad still alive and married to your mother? I would never let your children be alone with him. Our children have never been out of our sight when her scum uncle is around.
My only advice is to try to overcome the effects he has had on your life. Don't let what he did effect your relationship with your husband. You are safe with your husbands touch. I know it can be hard not to flashback, but when getting intimate, keep focused and in the moment with your husband's love.
Good Luck
Paul