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Loved, but
So far in my 13 years of living ive had 2 boyfriends.. and i fall in love.. i think.. well i cant stand to be with out him but i feel like he likes me to much and i always hurting him i mean i love him .. but i just feel numb when im around him, hes never done anything wrong.. but i feel empty all the time, like i dont feel anything... but i love him.. .. it feel like i ruin everyones life, my parents, my siblings, my boyfriends..i dont know whats wrong with me i just dont feel anything..
Sounds like you're disassociating and need your boyfriend's approval, especially if everything else in your life "feels negative." And rather than being overly miserable, you just look at the world like you're not even you, from the outside. The feeling of helplessness can only come from your own overpowering will. One foot, then the next, on a patient path toward a better you.
You're 13 years old. I know that you feel like your situation is truly unique but it isn't. Everyone is confused about their feelings at such an early age. It usually take people a long time to really know what they feel. Don't worry, you feel, you're only confused. You don't need to fall in love right now, just be content with the family and friends/boyfriend that you have right now. Not everyone has that.