My Insible Feelings

My boyfriend is extremly direct and honest to the point that it hurts. He wants to be very open and work through any issues. However, I am fearful of hurting him, so I keep a lot to myself. I was madly, deeply, go through h*** and back, walk across burning coals in love with him. Slowly, it has faded away. I always wanted to be loved and appreciated for me not my body. Yea, I have that BUT we have no physical chemistry because his gap in attraction for me is so large. I hate s** because it's so much work. He wants a hot latina with a big butt and I'm a petite blonde, blue eyed, skinny, health conscious chick. I am super nice and sweet, but not his bedroom fantasy. I think everyday of how we won't make it. I don't look fwd to seeing him, talking to him, or any contact with him. I feel defeated knowing I cannot be what he really wants. I feel happier alone without trying constantly to please him. It's too much work and I have no skills to build a life with him. Frankly, I don't ever dream of a future with him. I encourage him to find someone else and date other women because I can't fix this. I want to walk away and I would have no regrets. I think I stay because I don't want to hurt him and leave him all alone with his girls. I secretly wish he could just take his exwife back, but she is an idoit. She cheated on him while they were married and continues to make poor choices.

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  • Oh my need to break this relationship OFF. Seriously. You're only going to hurt him later because he's going to figure out and know how you really feel about him. You cannot hide that kind of disconnect for very long.

    Hurt is part of life...don't worry, you will eventually both move on. And hopefully, heal.

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