I don't know

I'm 15 and I have clinical depression, it's rather debilitating at points but at other times it's okay. I'm in love with a girl the same age as me and I love her more than anything but she doesn't feel the same way and it kills me (if I could marry this girl, I would, that's how much I love her) and the only thing that actually makes me feel better in my day to day life is masturbation but the problem is that I ** for this girl too much when I ** so I end up ** over her but I don't want to ** over her. sometimes I ** over my friends that I think are beautiful but whenever I ** I feel so bad that I wanked off to their pictures. I don't know what the ** is wrong with me…

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