It's not me!
I have had, for a very long time, a secret desire to have s** with a young teen girl. I dont want these thoughts. they just come unbidden, like they arent my thoughts. i have even watched child p*** a few times, and enjoyed it a couple. i feel so nasty and disgusting. i hate that part of me. in reality its NOT me. am i inherently evil? i have given it to God ad it seems to help some. but i still catch myself looking at girls in public. i do not want this at all. so. any advice? or ideas? and im too afraid to go to counseling for fear of them locking me away or something.
the worst part.....sometimes i like the thought of having this secret fantasy come true.