I legit hate myself with a passion. I really do. I can't even describe all the feelings I have towards myself, I guess to sum it up all the bad feelings and animosity I have built up inside, is totally because of me, and towards me. I love someone more than anything in the world, and I can't make them happy and it makes me feel like the biggest piece of s*** in the world. I want to be the person he spends the rest of his life with but I feel like I can't ever do anything right to achieve that. It has nothing to do with him, it's definitely me. I hate myself for it. But for more than just that. I can't even do anything for myself, and now I'm so depressed it's become crippling. I can't vent this to anyone because if I do, I'm told I'm a crybaby or to 'do something about it'. Yeah, obviously if it were THAT simple I would have, because no one likes f****** feeling this way. I thought that might be obvious. I used to be happy, and inspired, and look forward to things but now I just wonder if I'll ever have the guts to just off myself because I'm that miserable and people in my life would be better off that way. I can't even talk about it anymore. There's really nothing else to say, because I said it.