Confused in personal lufe

This is true story of my life. While doing residency in medicine i had nice colleuge.. She was engaged to some guy.. But we were together for work wveryday. For first two months we were together. Then we got posted in ddifferent units but same place. Though our timings of woek were different..we used to wait for eachother for food.. And we started enjoying eachothers company.. We became best friends. After 8months we realused that we love each other alot but she was not ready for marriage. She suggested me other girl n said i m already engaged i cant. You see smone else. I started seeing other girl but she remained my best friend. I used to share lot many thngs with prev girl. She remained there.. And sooner my marriage got fixed with second girl..but first girl remained there as my best friend.. I realised that i love first girl alot but time was lost.. We both did mistake by denying eachother.. We were morons. She is still there n i will b getting engaged. I still feel that i should marry first girl.. I am too much confused every day. I went into depression but atill i came back appearing for my post graduation exam but atill i thnk of her.. I knw she wil nt marry me but still i love her.. I feel that i m cheating with everyone.. All .. Second girl.. Her n my family.. My frienda n myself.. I m too much confused. Plz help

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