Soulmates, can't be together...

I am madly in love with my ex. We were so young when we met, our relationship was awesome but due to misunderstandings and unintended complications we split up. Now we are both married to someone else with children. None of our marriages are awfully bad, his is better than mine I think, but far from perfect. I have serious problems with my husband but we're staying together for the sake of our children. Neither of us are soulmates with our spouses but we honor our commitments to our families.
After this many years (well over a decade) my ex and myself are still 1000% soulmates for one another, we understand one another completely and our relationship is so deep spiritually and mentally that it hurts to be apart every waking moment. We're physically far away "luckily" so we are not able to act on our passion and love.
I am hurting and dying inside every day to be with him. It's my fault that we separated over a decade ago and I can't forgive it to myself. All I want to do is sleep so I don't have to be awake in this reality. When I wake up, I get panic attacks, realizing where I am and where I cannot be. I don't know how it is possible to live like this in the long run. To finish our relationship with Ex is impossible - we're not only soulmates but very close friends as well and our connection is what keeps us going in our everyday lives. Without that, I don't know if I can get up each morning to take care of my duties as a mom :(

I don't look for advice just maybe to hear if anyone can relate and how they survive this lifestyle in the long run. I know we're in it for the long haul..:/ This is the most unbelievable suffering I've ever experienced, and still the sweetest..


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  • I'm in the same boat, just I don't have children, and our situation is a bit complicated. Now he's living in the same country with me, but he gave up on me, but we can't live without each other, he's part of my life every day, and I'm a part of his life everyday. It's hard to move and when my husband is near me, and he loves me much. Days are just passing by, I'm trying to get busy with work and things that I usually do at home.

  • I know how you feel. He left me (broke up) with me years ago and disapear. He got married, divorce, I got married ( not happy tho)
    We found each other years ago but this year we cross the line. We are having an affair, we love each other but I'm like you, I don't want to leave my children with a father even if he has not been a good husband. I don't know how long this will last. I love him and he loves me. Life is soooo complicated. I wish I could give advice but I'm in the same boat. All I can i say, you are not the only one. :(

  • You've made your bed now lie in it.

  • I obviously do, otherwise I'd leave my marriage - and I don't. So - not really helpful, sorry.

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