My childhood was ruined
I'm a 17 year old boy. i'm in foster care for some reasons i just dont know.I mean, i have an idea but just dont know for sure? i lived witth just my mum for most of the 6 years i lived with her. y dad nevver wanted to see me so getting a step dad seemed great. But, it wasn't. he sexually abused me. i REALLY hated it (understandable?) and i'd tell him not to do it but he'd tell me to shut up and carry on. when i went into foster care, my brother mentioned this to social services... but i denied it. not because i liked it, not becuse i liked him. it was purely due tto the fact i was ashamed. nobody knows now (except that brother) and i dont know what to do?
Also, when i was 9, my 10 year old brother was knocked off his bike by a car. we didnt live together and i had just seen him the day before (monthly visits). he was in a comer in intensie care for a week and a half until the doctors decided it's time to turn his life support machine off. i have this clear image in my head that haunts me - him at the hospital. he was just... swollen. i couldn't talk or touch him - i didnt want to, i didnt think it was him. he passed away a week before my eldest brothers birthday and only seeing my mum once a month didn't help at all. i dont see any of my family exept my mum - thy just dont like me nomore.
My dad found out about my brothers death and said he'll come and see me. he saw me once and never again "it's boring" he said. Theres more but i'm probably broing you - i'm not doing this to attention seek. i just need the support. Wht should i do about my step dad and should i contact my real dad? please comment, thank you.