My dreams

When I was a young girl, I always dreamed of becoming a model. In particular, I wanted to become a cosplay model and wear cute outfits!! I told my parents that I loved cosplaying and wanted to move to Japan one day because I felt that it was my calling. My mom laughed. She said that being a model like that wouldn't pay the bills. Plus, in this world where there were girls who were more beautiful and cute than me, I didn't stand a chance. Rather, I should just focus on getting good grades and eventually settling down like any normal girl in society. I was sad; I really thought I could do it. But every time I dared to overstep what my mom thought was too much, she was quick to criticize me and my self esteem just fell through the years. I began to think I wasn't pretty enough. Even now, I'm afraid to enter a relationship because I'm scared that my boyfriend will find a prettier girl and leave me.
By the time I reached middle school, I developed stretch marks all around the back of my legs. I grew ashamed to wear skirts and shorts like other girls. I always felt that I had to wear long pants to hide my stretch marks because other people would laugh at them. If my friends asked why I never dressed like other girls, I just lied and said I was a tomboy; I didn't like skirts. But in truth, I really missed wearing skirts! I really want to be able to become a cute girl. But my self esteem is too low. Even if I can't become a cute cosplay girl, I just really wish that I could like myself now.

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  • Try living for God, something that won't let you down. Jesus died on the cross and resurrected so that we could know life and truly live. If the son makes you free, you will be free indeed.
    Matthew 6:19-21 "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

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