The Other Woman

I am the "Other Woman".

Not by choice. After a year plus, on and off, being with a man I called my boyfriend, I found out he's cheating on me. With his W.I.F.E. Technically-speaking, he cheated on his wife, with me. Politically-correct, in people's eyes, I'm the other woman.

I can't believe I've been reduced to his second best. His wife discovered me and I know I can't blame her for telling me off. But to call me a husband-stealer, is uncalled for. She wouldn't put the blame on him. Like he is a f****** saint who can do no wrong.

I know that if I'm somebody's wife, I would react the same way. But it wasn't a good feeling knowing you've been fooled and worse, the wife would labelled you "w****" for the rest of your life, regardless if her husband is in the wrong or right.

Its not as bad knowing your husband had strayed. Its not as bad knowing he acknowledged that he had done something unnecessarily stupid. But its TWICE as BAD not knowing you are the third wheel and the wife thinks negatively of you when you have no clue you are in a 3-way relationships. Men or women who does such makes people like me look bad. Well in fact, the married seducer was the real culprit. He or she should know better but no, cause they no they would not suffer much from it. Especially, when they know their spouses are the forgiving type, regardless the shittest things they've done.

And I've never been so mad, to the point I actually want to take his life, in my life, at anyone. And I finally actually understood the phrase,

"H*** hath no fury, like a woman scorns."

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  • Everything you wrote -- every single word of it -- was absolutely, utterly, totally correct. And heartbreaking. Yes, it's the husband's fault. (That is, the fault of a man you didn't even know WAS a husband.) Yes, he's a selfish b******. And yes, he should punished somehow. But punished how? Our society won't do it. Our culture certainly won't (his behavior is actually encouraged). So, unfortunately, the ONLY punishment he'll receive is that you'll no longer be in his life. That, I think, is enough: the loss of you.

  • What a whiner you are. It took you that long to figure out a guy is MARRIED? And now you want sympathy? Sorry lady. Yes, the guy's a b******, that goes without saying. But your little play for sympathy is idiotic.

    By the way, the phrase is: h*** hath no fury like a woman SCORNED. It doesn't make any sense the way you wrote it.

    Jeez . . .


  • Look, it you fall in love with a married man you are always second. He married her. He gave her his name. Life as husband and wife is difficult. Living with someone day in and day out, dealing with bills, s**, kids, unfulfilled dreams means you are constantly in transition and it's very easy to feel unloved and unappreciated. Going for attention, s**, or love and appreciation outside the marriage is understandable sometimes but it is not a real relationship in the sense that the two people are not on the same page enjoying and experiencing life together. You are in the, "dating" stage. That is where this man was with his wife at one point. Where everything was fun, new and promising. You said you are a free agent now and that is a good thing. If you meet someone and later find out he's married, leave him. If you decide to's not his wife's fault. She was there first, you've got to realize that. You didn't cheat on her, he did, but that doesn't give you the right to feel superior to her with regard to the man you have in common. Good luck to you.

  • If you want to get revenge on his wife and make her feel like s***, send her a note apologizing but be passive aggressive about it.

    Say you had no idea he was married then drop in things about how it was about the s**. Say things like "we clicked sexually" to drive her nuts.

    His s** life with his wife will never be the same because she's going to think about him f****** you when he wants s** from her.

  • Well, that's a rather interesting idea that you've came up with. But I'm just going to let things unravel on its own. Just let her be. Let her keep tabs on the future outside-the-marital activities that he is going to participate in and keep forgiving him and I want to observe how much longer can she takes till she could finally say,

    "I give up. He's hopeless. I'm done with his s****."

    I was devastated. I was mad. I was psycho-woman mad. But I realized, I did not lose anything. It was not bad now as it was then. I'm a free agent now. They are the ones married to each other. For good or for worse, they are the ones gonna swallow each other's poisons. Not me. They're going to be in a bigger mess together, it's going to rot in time to come and when the d-day comes, its all because of their own undoings.

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