sometimes i feel so depressed that i

sometimes i feel so depressed that i feel like ending my life and sometimes happy. whenever i feel depressed i wanna get drunk on whisky just to get over with this depression but im scared, i rarely drink.
i dont even know my direction of life anymore, i dont have any dreams, directions i feel that i need someone to give me a direction. i cant make up my own mind, i watch tv shows and movies and then i kind of live my life by the way of the characters in the movies/tv shows. its like im trying to impersonate them trying to be like them. why cant i just live my own life without trying to be someone else?

All i do everyday is wake up, go to school , turn on my computer and sit in front of it for the rest of the day. school is ending this week and my exams are around the corner and honestly speaking i cant get myself to study for my exams, im just too lazy to even open my book. im kind of afraid to think about what my life would be in the future, what kind of life i would have without a proper education? im turning 18 this year im not going to say my location or name to conceal my identity.

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  • Ok, first of all, TV is fake, so do not base your measure for succes on TV and movies. You are still so young, and have so much ahead of you. I dropped out of highschool because I had no motivation (and yes I was lazy), and I regret it so much right now! If you feel depressed, talk to someone (a counselor) about it before you do something you will regret.

  • thank you, i felt good 4hrs after writing that confession. i dont know why i felt good but i just felt good. i felt that things would be better again and maybe im "depressed" because of all the reading that i have done on depression and thiking that i could be depressed. i kind of have obsessive compulsive disorder, 1 of my psychiatrists said i have it but others said i don't and i think that i don't. i hope i stay the way i am right now but sometimes it feels good to be "depressed" or just down/sad. i don't know, the feeling of thinking that i am depressed just makes me feel good, what i meant by good is not happiness.

  • F*** Jesus.

  • you need to find a friend who you can talk to in confidence. I was once in your situation and being depressed is a real issue. I found that talking to the Lord was my strength and today when i feel down i just give it to him. All you need to do is ask the Lord Jesus into your life and let him guide you (and he will) be patient. Theres lots of info on the net that can help you. My favourite is hillsong.com.au or any daily devotions. You need to start talking positive to yourself as well. You are only young and you have only one chance at life. Live it to the fullest!!!! ok. Take care.

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