I'm terrified I'm beyond help.
I'm a teenage girl. That has nothing to do with the confession but I feel it's an important detail.
There are times when...I m********* to the thought of killing people. Specifically boys. Young boys. Dark hair, freckled, somewhere between the ages of 8 and 11. It gets me off more than anything else in this world, and that horrifies me. I feel like some kind of psychotic pedophile, even though I know I'm far too timid and tender-hearted to ever hurt anyone, and I've never even considered children outside of this particular fantasy. I go to therapy twice a week for crippling social anxiety, but I can't bring myself to vocalize this problem. I'm a sick, sick person.